


Misfire

by floof



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adoribull - Freeform, Doribull, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 10:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4784777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floof/pseuds/floof
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian may be the first person to drunk dial in Thedas. He's probably prouder of that fact then he should be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misfire

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to take a nap, and this came to me. We all know Bull got one of those crystals to ;D. More of a friendship fic then a romance fic, but I think there's enough Adoribull that it's okay to post here. Sorry if I disappointed anyone wanting sexy times, there's talk of it but nothing happens... Oh and there's background Adaar/Cass and a hint of Sera/Dagna, but I hate tagging secondary ships, so if that's not your thing, uh. Sorry.

There was an uncomfortable silence; and Dorian glanced down at the crystal in his hand, wondering what was wrong. Bull usually liked it when he opened up with dirty talk; never really caring if his chargers overheard. They were all used to it, much as they might bitch and moan.

Sometimes that was part of the fun.

Then, as a gruff but kind voice echoed out of the crystal, Dorian understood. 

“Uh....Dorian...I've missed you to...and uh, you're a very attractive man, I love you, you know that;” Kaffas, Adaar was babbling. Whatever Dorian had said must've been very, very filthy. He glanced down at the wine glass in his hand, swirling it as he tried to recall exactly how much detail he'd gone into. 

If it could get Adaar this flustered it must have been good. 

Alas, his dear friend kept on; when he could've simply shushed and ceased their further embarrassments. Of course, being Adaar, he did not. The silly man.

“But uh, not in that way. Maybe if I'd met you before Cassandra, we could've had something, but uh. Uh. Never tell me about your dick again. Ever.”

Sighing, Dorian took another sip of his wine, letting it muffle his thoughts even more. He heard an intake of breath then, and bit back a groan. Oh, Lovely. Adaar was _still_ talking. 

“Unless you've...I don't know, unless your dick is falling off? Then it'd be okay to tell me. I could ask around, see if any healers know what to do. But...don't you have better magical healers up there, anyway? ...Now I'm thinking about your dick falling off...Dorian, why did you have to tell me about your dick. I didn't want to know. I really, really didn't.” 

A better question would've been; Why wouldn't Adaar stop talking. Why.

“Thank you Adaar, that mental image was enough to kill any sort of mood I might've had. Truly, you are a dear, dear friend.” Well there went his arousal; gone faster then the time he and the Bull had gotten amorous in the Emprise du Lion. 

As fun as the start of it had been, they'd both ended up bare arsed in the snow when the tent fell down. Then Sera had retaliated with perfectly aimed snowballs at private bits for having to see that. It had taken hours before he could feel anything again.

Strange how that memory brought a smile to his lips. Never before had he been so cold, but. He'd been surrounded by friends, even if none of them would've met had the sky not been pouring out demons. 

Oh, Adaar was talking again.

“I'm just saying – I'm happy for you Dorian, really, I am; I just don't want to know the details. I heard enough of the details. On more then one occasion, I saw the bloody details.” There was another sigh then, and Dorian grinned, knowing it to be a fond one. He could just imagine the look on Adaar's face as he shook his head. 

“But enough; I know you didn't really mean to talk to me. Go message Bull. But you had better talk to me sometime this week, and this time, don't open up about …...I'm not going to repeat what you said. Too much _detail_. The only details I want to know about are Cassandra's.”

“You wound me. I have such lovely _details_ , to. It's a shame, I can't really remember what exactly I _detailed_. Must've been good, are you blushing? You're blushing, aren't you.” Dorian laughed. “Don't be upset; I have that effect on people. It's a terrible curse.”

“Sure it is Dorian, sure it is. Like you don't enjoy people eating out of the palm of your hand.”

“I haven't quite managed that yet. Some are more likely to try and bite it.” Adaar was quiet then, and Dorian felt a flash of guilt for worrying him. Before he could say anything, Adaar started to talk once more, saving him the trouble.

“Just be careful. Sera told me to say Hi, by the way. She wanted me to let you know she pied people in your honor.”

“I...she...what?” 

“She and Dagna invented a sort of....pie...bomb...don't ask; She detonated it in the middle of a party; some visiting dignitaries from Tevinter at a party of Vivienne's; probably former Venatori. ...Really, it was a sweet gesture, for Sera."

“I'll have to send her a letter soon, then. Not every day my name is attached to pastries. Even though it should be; but only the finest.”

“Never change Dorian, never change. Now, go message Bull; I'll still be here when you're done.” There was a groan before Adaar continued. “Just uh. No _details_.”

“Well, if you insist. Do go enjoy _detailing_ Cassandra, there's a good lad.” Smiling again, Dorian shook his head, and ended the connection, but not before hearing something about Cassandra having very nice details. 

For a moment he stared down at the crystal, thumb stroking it. He knew he was doing good work in Tevinter, but sometimes... sometimes... No. This wasn't forever; he still had friends, even if they couldn't be with him all the time.

Steeling his resolve, Dorian breathed deeply, closed his eyes; and thought of his Amatus. The scars covering his body; likely more of them now that Dorian wasn't there to watch his back. He'd find each and every one next time they were together at the villa; and kiss them softly even though Bull always said they didn't hurt anymore. 

His rough, grey skin; and how Dorian loved to touch it; hands stroking Bull's firm muscles, and coming to rest on his soft stomach. The best of both worlds, really. He wouldn't have Bull any other way. The scratchy feel of his horns, and how Bull would groan as Dorian found a particularly itchy patch of dry skin.

The man never did take proper care of himself without Dorian there to remind him. He made a mental note to bring extra horn balm next month; doubtless Bull had run out. Of course, he'd never trust any he could find in Tevinter, so he'd have to make his own. 

Maybe he could even get pink tins to put it in this time. The Bull would like that.

A lazy smile on his face; Dorian pressed his thumb to the crystal once more; and this time made sure of who he was reaching out for. 

_Bull. Home. Love. Amatus._

“Hey there, Kadan.”

**Author's Note:**

> WELP first fic in this fandom and I rarely write so heck if I know if there will be more. Sorry there wasn't more Bull, and Idk if it's even possible to drunk dial with a messaging crystal, but it's a funny thought that kept me from sleeping so here you go.
> 
> Is it obvious what my favorite characters and relationships are...
> 
> Sera was not invited to that party, by the way. This did not stop her.


End file.
